5 Lessons on Connection from 60 Friends Still Dancing at 70

It was around midnight in a modern cabin in Padina, high in Romania's Bucegi Mountains, and I was the first to leave the dance floor. My mother was not.

Around me, more than 60 people, most of them in their seventies, were still going strong: dancing to Boney M. one moment, the traditional hora* the next.

It was my mother's university reunion, a three-day retreat celebrating the class of 1979. She and I had spent the summer on a sacred pilgrimage across Romania, the country of my birth that I had never truly explored while growing up in Canada, and I had promised we would end our journey here.

Why did I decide to go? I told myself it was for the mountains, known for their sacred sites and mysterious energy. And yes, we visited several of them, including Ialomița Cave and the Sphinx (more on that soon in my Sacred Travels series).

The truth is that I expected to feel like an outsider. These were my mother's classmates, graduates of the Institute of Physical Education and Sport in Bucharest, and to me they were strangers.

I came home with a notebook full of reflections, and one simple truth beneath them all: community is an important key to inner happiness.

Here are five lessons worth reflecting on.

1. Leadership begins with ownership

The main force behind this event was Nae, my mom's former classmate. It wasn't the first time: with help from other warm-hearted classmates, he organized the first reunion in 2019. Given its great success, he decided to keep them going. After decades of losing touch, the class of 1979 was finding each other again.

Gatherings like this don't happen by accident. Each time, Nae decided it would happen, and then he carried it through. Tracking people down, booking the cabin, shaping the program: none of it is glamorous, and all of it is essential.

Nae was also our MC, and he had a special gift. Throughout the main evening reception, he made everyone in the room feel seen, whether by congratulating people on their accomplishments or thanking those who had travelled from abroad to make the long journey home.

Perhaps the most memorable moment was when he invited us into a short prayer for the classmates who had passed away since the previous reunions. He made sure to honour not only everyone present, but also those who were not.

The takeaway: Connection doesn't maintain itself. Someone has to own it: make the call, send the invitation, hold the space. Staying connected takes effort, but it is always worth it.

2. Nothing great is built alone

If Nae was the heart of the reunion, collaboration was its backbone.

His wife and a few other classmates helped bring everything together.

The owner of Casa Iustin, the three-storey cabin we had entirely to ourselves, was on site all weekend, quietly making sure every meal, room and detail ran smoothly, and the staff were attentive and always on call.

And because no public transport reaches Padina, classmates arranged rides for one another, so no one who wanted to come was left behind.

None of these people were the event's leaders, but all of them made the weekend possible.

The takeaway: Behind every great leader is a team that brings the vision to life. As an old Romanian saying goes, "Unde-s doi, puterea crește": where there are two, strength grows. Everyone has a role to play, and those who work quietly behind the scenes deserve to be recognized and honoured too.

3. Shared experiences build stronger bonds and self-respect

Growing up, my mom told me that playing volleyball professionally, as part of a team, taught her not only to collaborate with others, but also to value a daily routine and to care for and honour her body.

In the stories I heard from her classmates, whatever their sport, the message was the same: belonging to a group taught them deep respect, not only for others, but for themselves.

Nearly five decades later, those lessons had stayed with them. I found these people down-to-earth, respectful, and never too loud. And when something needed doing, like arranging a ride or helping an organizer, someone simply did it.

The takeaway: Shared experiences create belonging, and belonging teaches us to respect both others and ourselves.

4. Youth is a state of being

Most of the guests were around seventy, but they were living it up like they were in their thirties! During the day, they laughed, played games, and organized trips to the surrounding sights. At night, many danced from early evening until well past midnight. Their faces were lit up, and they truly enjoyed each other's company.

I came home convinced that youth is not just a stage of life; it's a state of being, and that what keeps us young is not only HOW we live, but WHO we share it with. The science supports thisFor almost 90 years, the Harvard Study of Adult Development has followed the same people through their lives. Its clearest finding has nothing to do with wealth, intelligence, or even genes. It is about relationships. People with close, warm connections lived happier, healthier, longer lives.

The takeaway: Community isn't a group you belong to on paper. It is the people who keep showing up.

5. Spirituality is gratitude in action

On the opening night, before we sat down to a delicious three-course meal, everyone paused. The husband of one of my mom's classmates is a priest, and the group asked him to bless the food and the gathering.

What filled the room in that moment wasn't religion; it was gratitude. Gratitude for the meal, for the mountains, and for the simple miracle of still being together after 47 years. That pause set the tone for the entire weekend.

Gratitude, I was reminded, is a powerful practice, and research supports this. In a well-known study by psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, people who wrote down a few things they were grateful for each week, for ten weeks, felt better about their lives and more optimistic about the week ahead than those who wrote about daily hassles. They even exercised nearly an hour and a half more per week.

You don't have to write anything down to feel the effects. I've noticed the same power in my own practice. When I feel down or frustrated, I stop and find one thing to be grateful for. Anything at all: the sun on my face, my health, a good cup of coffee. That simple moment shifts my mood almost immediately, and I find my way back to a more positive place.

The takeaway: Gratitude is one of the simplest mindfulness tools we have, and one of the most powerful. It costs nothing and takes only seconds.

*The hora is a traditional Romanian circle dance in which people join hands and move together in a ring. People dance it at weddings, holidays, and family celebrations, and anyone can step in and join. For generations, it has been a living symbol of unity and community.

Authentic connection is what keeps us alive.

It is also what keeps us human.

I arrived as an outsider: a classmate's daughter, a generation younger. I expected polite nods, some small talk, and a quiet corner to watch from.

Instead, people asked about my life. They invited me to dance with the group and to join the daily activities. Soon I no longer felt like a guest. I felt like part of the class of 1979.

But the greatest gift they gave me was more than that. They gave me a glimpse of who my mother was before she became a mother. She was smiling, dancing and full of excitement — and so were her classmates. No one was there to impress anyone. They came to be together, to remember who they had been, and to honour who they had become.

So before you move on, sit with these questions for a moment:

• Who would show up for you after 47 years? And who would you show up for?

• When did you last reach out to someone without needing anything from them?

• Which connection have you let fade that you could rekindle this week?

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